FORGIVENESS – Feeling or Action?

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For a long time I struggled with being able to forgive. Maybe you have felt the same way?  How do you really forgive?

In my “green sky” upside down thinking, I always thought forgiveness had to be a feeling. Something that made ME feel better inside towards the person I was trying to forgive. A futile effort that never seemed to grab the core of my heart.

Forgiveness is Freeing!

What I have learned in my new right side up, “blue sky” world, is that forgiveness is an ACTION word.

If forgiveness was a feeling, you might as well take arsenic and expect the other person to die.

Forgiveness is not in accepting the other person’s unacceptable behavior, or wrong done to you.

Importance of Forgiveness

You have forgiven if you:

  1. Wish no ill will or harm to the person who has treated you unjustly.
  2. You pray or send enlightenment to the person you are trying to forgive to change for the better – because their soul needs more help than yours.
  3. Leave it to God or your Higher Power to resolve the issue in a manner of divine justice for the good of all involved.

Forgiveness is not your idea of making the wrong right, but allowing God to make the wrong right.

Forgiveness is in keeping the focus on yourself. What can I learn from this? How can you transform the bad done to you, into something good for you and others in similar situations?

Self Forgiveness

Forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself. Trusting God more, and depending on yourself less. Listening to the whispers and warning signs God may be giving you in the silence of your prayer, or through other people.

God is bigger than your problems. You have to seek in the deep to believe God is always on your side. Persevering in the hope that if you do not desire revenge, He will give you the grace to obtain the peace you desperately seek.

Forgiveness is a process.

You don’t put a seed in the ground, go outside in an hour, and expect a full grown ten foot tree to be looking back at you.

Who can you forgive today with action?

Maybe you can start with yourself.


From the book;
The Sky Is Green and The Grass Is Blue – turning your upside down world right side up!

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  • greensky

    Isn’t that divine timing simply amazing Sandi!!
    You are such a blessing to so many – what a pleasure to read your comment!!
    Love and blessings,

  • Sandi McKenna

    You wrote this over 3 years ago, yet I just saw it today. It was like it was written just for me, just when I needed it! Thank you!

  • greensky


    i never heard that one before about digging the two graves, but i love it!

    thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience with the world.

    god bless your heart,

  • Claire Mackey

    Deb, Love the forgiveness piece.I have learned that ,forgiveness is the road to inner peace and happiness.It is a very narrow door,through which we all must stoop.Who was the Chinese philosopher who said, he who does not forgive should dig two graves….?

  • greensky

    You being the forgiveness guru – wow – what a compliment and grateful for your visit to the site.

    History just occurred here you know!


  • Lisa Tener

    Wow, Deb, I love the distinction you make about forgiveness being an action (vs. a feeling).

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