I am grateful for this opportunity to share, reflect and hopefully impact your life in a meaning way by sharing the qualities necessary I have discovered to live a truly meaningful life. We must live life forward, independent of being able to only understand the events and results of the choices we make in hindsight.
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
I’ve experienced a few challenges of my own on this journey called life, and I know you have too. Mine were packaged growing up in a dysfunctional family, being sexually abused by a teacher I should have been able to trust, dealing with the effects of others’ alcoholism, battling depression, being a sole care giver to both my parents until their death, and even financial devastation (just to name a few).
In the professional world I appeared to be a success. My biology degree launched me into twenty years of award winning cardiac surgery sales. I learned a lot about business, and even more about people. Being in surgery frequently selling my beating heart surgery devices, I saw first-hand everyone has the same color blood running through their veins no matter what shape, color, size, religious belief, age, or language they spoke on the outside. We are all the same on the inside.
So here’s what I have learned along the way. I hope you apply these insights into your life so you can recognize, accept and apply the lesson quicker than I did. If you do, I am confident they will help you create a magnificent satisfying life beyond your best dream. You will make the world a better place for yourself and everyone you meet. You matter.
1. Shine from the Inside and You Won’t Need the Spotlight.
All the awards, money and fame that may put you in the shiny spotlight to the worlds view on the outside will never give you the peace and happiness you seek on the inside. Genuine joy will only come from aligning with your inner core values and the moral compass you seek to keep. Be pushed by your life mission statement, not pulled by other people’s agendas.
2. Don’t let your Happiness come from Other People’s Minds.
Being motivated by what other people think is like taking arsenic and expecting the other person to die. Being motivated by other people’s approval will deceptively lead you over the cliff of destruction every time. You will always have people who dislike you, disagree with you, and even strive to destroy you. Expect it, forgive them, let it go, and be you.
3. You can’t unscramble the Scrambled Eggs, but you can create Delicious New recepies for omelletes.
Everyone makes mistakes, has regrets, and does the “could a, would a, should a” self-talk scenario. Accept this as part of the process of being a human being. Focus on researching those tragedies to learn their value in creating something better you could never have experienced or shared without them. Priceless precious diamonds are always created under pressure.
4. Befriend your Fear and Stress as Safety Stop Signs in your Travels.
You don’t drive down the street resenting the stop sign, traffic lights or yield signs along the road to wherever you are going. You are grateful they are there to protect you and keep you safe from disaster or even death. Look at your feelings of stress, confusion or fear as gifts from God and the universe to help you pause and avoid potential danger. Seek the message and redirect your actions accordingly.
5. Listen to learn not to Justify.
You can’t hear what the other person is saying when you are having two conversations in your head, the one you are saying and the one you want the other person to be saying back in response to you. It takes courage to listen without premeditated justification of your own opinion. Be humble.
6. It’s a Bad Day not a Bad Life.
When life gets you down and everyone on planet earth feels this way from time to time whether they admit it or not, remember no pain or joy lasts forever. Your feelings are moving constantly like the clouds in the sky. Every experience is creating something greater than yourself not only for you, but everyone around you. Remember, you’re not finished yet.
7. Your life is between you and your God, adjust accordingly.
Life is so much easier when you only have one person to please instead of thousands, hundreds or dozens. Live your life for what God thinks of you, because your boss, your friends, and even your family won’t be judging you in your life review. Make sure your life is something you want to watch again. Ask yourself in every decision you are about to make whether or not you want to see yourself making that choice again, and the results it created.
8. Collect moments not things.
Ask yourself in every goal you desire to achieve if the prize is something which will live on with value in your memory. Stuff creates dust, but the moments of being with your parents, your children, your community will live within the protection of your heart long past the day they die.
9. Reflect often on Your Death to help you really Live.
Last I checked, no one is staying. You are going to die, and you don’t know exactly how or when. This truth should motivate you to live each day as if it were a separate life. Reflect often on your death and you will quickly gain insight into the truth of your priorities.
10. Seek the lesson in each painful problem to find your peace and purpose.
Everyone experiences suffering and pain. This is part of life you must accept and not fight. Embrace this reality and use it to learn about yourself, what you value, why you hurt, what matters in the core of your moral compass. Discover yourself. You will learn quickly how attached you are to a person or thing by the amount of pain you experience when it is gone.
11. Words are Meaningless, you can only believe a person’s Actions.
Words are empty vehicles which mean nothing without the complimentary action to back them up in truth. The husband who beats his wife and says I love you is a liar. People lie. You will never stop people from being deceitful, manipulative or revengeful. Sociopaths really exist, and you will meet more than you will probably ever recognize. Always judge a person by truth of their actions, and this includes yourself.
12. Dump the Drama.
Drama can be an addiction like anything else. If you are surrounded or find yourself frequently talking about drama, it’s time to let go of your need to control. The source of your pain is that you want to control other people. Focus on you. If you can’t enjoy your own company, don’t expect anyone else to.
13. Right is Right is no one is doing it, and wrong is wrong if everyone is doing it.
Stand for something or you will surely fall for everything. You must believe in what you are doing regardless of what other people are doing or telling you to do. It’s not about them. Check your motivation for everything you do and realize it is your motivation which creates the honest intention towards that end result.
14. Trust your Intuition and Understand why you did later.
That little voice which whispers inside your soul that tells you there is something not right, something that doesn’t add up, something that creates a feeling of confusion or doubt, is God’s gift of guidance to you. Trust your intuition and don’t try to justify bad behavior in your head. Sometimes the ego distorts your spiritual eye sight.
15. Employee performance Reviews are designed to protect your Employer not to Help you become a Better Employee.
Those once a year performance reviews which seem to be designed to help you improve your skill set on the outside, are in fact designed to create legal justification for letting you go, not giving you a bigger pay raise or anything else the employer wants to justify. Don’t ever sign a performance review you disagree with, and never feel intimated that you have to sign it. Stand up for yourself, you’re worth it.
16. Don’t believe Everything You Think.
The negative communication committee inside your head is always going to chatter something crazy. Sometimes what you think or feel may not be true. No one knows everything at all the time. Sometimes you just have to laugh when you want to cry.
17. It’s about Progress not Perfection.
There is no such thing as perfection. Life is fair to all precisely because it is unfair to all. Focus on your progress towards a goal instead of some imaginary standard of perfection you have decided you need to do whatever it is you want to do. Always find something to be grateful for in your progress towards accomplishing your goal. The greatest people are always the most grateful people.
18. You are the People you Associate with, chose wisely.
Make a list of the people you associate with and the qualities you admire and detest in each. You will discover who you are through this exercise more than you will discover anything about them. Let go of poisonous people. Be very allergic to negative people. Surround yourself with people who respect and appreciate you in word and action so you can appreciate and respect yourself.
19. Be Humble.
This is the greatest attribute anyone can ever have, and I measure this quality in each person I meet, including myself. Whatever you have in a talent or material possession is a gift. When you get up in the morning a take your refreshing shower, remember there are thousands of people in the world who don’t even have clean water to drink let alone take a shower in. If you have food, shelter and health, you really have it all.
20. Don’t Borrow Sorrow from Tomorrow.
There are only two days in your life when you can’t accomplish anything; yesterday and tomorrow. Live in the present moment. Keep your head and heart focused on today. Today is all you have, and for the thousands of people who will die today, they won’t even have that.
21. Don’t go to the Hardware store for Bread.
Consider why you expect a person, place or thing to give you the result you seek. You will never be able to change other people. Accept people as they are instead of what you want them to be, and you will set yourself free to make better decisions. Let go quickly.
22. Pray, Pray, Pray.
This is the golden key which unlocks the meaning of your life. Prayer is the path which leads to truth which can only be discovered in the silence of your heart. You must pray to open the flood gates of love into your soul. Spiritual jewels of love and peace will never be found in the material world. Life is not fair, only God is fair. The best prayer you can ever say is thank you God for everything, because everything is truly a gift. You are a gift to this world, unwrap yourself. You didn’t come here by accident. You have a specific purpose in the design of humanity to do something which no one else can create. Share your shine, the world needs you.
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Deb Scott, BA, CPC is a four time award winning author of, The Sky is Green & the Grass is Blue (a Kindle Top 20 Best Seller!), a top rated best podcaster winner for, The Best People We Know Show, with over 1 million global listeners, and a Top 1% Kred Social Media Influencer. Deb spent twenty years as a cardiovascular surgical specialist, winning numerous awards for outstanding sales and leadership skills. In her personal life, Deb battled sexual abuse, others’ alcoholism, dysfunctional relationships, depression, was the sole caregiver to both her parents who fought cancer to their death, and even experienced financial devastation. Today, Deb helps people turn things around in their business, or the business of living, with the discovery of the amazing you.
Connect with Deb at http://www.DebScott.com